Some never make it back, and end up taking their own life, because the pain of being alive is too great. If you have never been abused, mentally, physically or sexually, I am grateful that you were spared this atrocity. You will never be able to relate to a person that has, because every abused person lives in their own hell. Somehow, I hope this may help you understand even a little, the deep torment, that we the abused, have to live with, and fight everyday to overcome.

My story as bad as it is, is a lot better than others. I know this, because I have been around the places we are forced to dwell all my life. I have heard their stories. Some had it better, some had it worse, but make no mistake. No matter the level of abusiveness, the kind of abuse, or the frequency of it. To that child, it was their very existence, all they knew, and because of the way they were forced to live, they never learned what healthy love is.

As I write this there is a very good possibility, that someone you know is beating their child, or children. Abusers are very private about the fact they beat, belittle, or molest children. You can’t tell an abuser in a crowd, they appear normal in every way. It is only in the privacy of their home, where no one can witness, or in an institution, where a child has no credibility, that they practice their sick, deviant, destructive art.

Abused children grow up, and they get married, and they have children. The fact is, that if they never did anything to heal themselves, to learn a different way, then there is a very real chance, that they too will become an abuser.

I beg of you, if you know someone who was abused, help them heal. If you suspect someone of abuse, don’t sit on the idelines, praying you are wrong. Do whatever you must do, to assure that no child that you meet, has to be beat in the name of love.

I don’t have the words to describe the agony of someone who you love, beating you, or touching you. To have a parent, or counselor, or spouse, yelling at you that you are useless. There are millions who live this reality. Children die everyday from neglect and abuse. It is not something I need statistics to prove. We all know the truth of it, we see it on the news, in the newspaper, and in our lives.

I have no clue if this book will ever be published. I have no idea of knowing if my message will get out there. It is my prayer that it does. I need other people who have been abused to know, they are not alone. That there are others who are just as damaged as them, that others know their pain, their fears, and the inner torment we all share. I need to shout it loud
and clear!

There is a way to heal! There is a way to get beyond your past. There is HOPE!

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